We golfed at Willow Creek CC in the wind prior to the coming storm with Doug Matsumori. Paula played great and had her best drive with a wind assisted shot on hole 8 - an impressive 210 yards off the tee.
The next day the snow hit and I doubt we'll play again until Spring.
PERSONAL HEALTH
Jane Brody on health and aging.
The definition of an optimist: Someone, like me, who plans to get more done than time permits.
Having failed to achieve the impossible, someone, like me, who is sure everything will somehow get done anyway.
A more classical definition from the Mayo Clinic: “Optimism is the belief that good things will happen to you and that negative events are temporary setbacks to be overcome.”
In one study, adults shown to be pessimists based on psychological tests had higher death rates over a 30-year period than those who were shown optimistic. No doubt, the optimists were healthier because they were more inclined to take good care of themselves.
Unlike Voltaire’s Candide, I’ve yet to be stripped of my optimism, though there are clearly forces in this country and the world that could subdue even the most ardent optimist.
I am a realist, after all, and I do fret over things I may be able to do little or nothing about directly: economic injustice; wars and the repeated failure to learn from history; our gun-crazy society; the overreliance on tests to spur academic achievement; and attempts to strip women of their reproductive rights.
But I’ve found that life is a lot more pleasant when one looks at the bright side, seeing the glass half full and assuming that reason will eventually prevail.
Not Just About Being Positive
Murphy’s Law — “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong” — is the antithesis of optimism. In a book called “Breaking Murphy’s Law,” Suzanne C. Segerstrom, a professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky, explained that optimism is not about being positive so much as it is about being motivated and persistent.
Dr. Segerstrom and other researchers have found that rather than giving up and walking away from difficult situations, optimists attack problems head-on. They plan a course of action, getting advice from others and staying focused on solutions. Whenever my husband, a dyed-in-the-wool pessimist, said, “It can’t be done,” I would seek a different approach and try harder — although I occasionally had to admit he was right.
Dr. Segerstrom wrote that when faced with uncontrollable stressors, optimists tend to react by building “existential resources” — for example, by looking for something good to come out of the situation or using the event to grow as a person in a positive way.
I was 16 when my mother died of cancer. Rather than dwell on the terrible void her death left in my life, I managed to gain value from the experience. I learned to apply her lifelong frugality more constructively, living each day as if it could be my last, but with a focus on the future in case it wasn’t.
Yes, I saved, but I also chose not to postpone for some nebulous future the things I wanted to do and could, if I tried hard, find a way to do now. And I adopted a very forthright approach to life, believing that if I wanted something badly enough, I could probably overcome the odds against me.
When I applied at age 24 for a job as a science writer at The New York Times, an interviewer said I was foolhardy to think I could be hired after just two years of newspaper experience. “If I didn’t think I could do the job, I wouldn’t be here,” I told him.
It turned out to be just what he wanted to hear, and I was hired. Since what I loved most was researching and writing articles that could help people better understand science and medicine, I stayed focused on my goals and declined opportunities to move up in the organization by becoming an editor.
Research has indicated that a propensity toward optimism is strongly influenced by genes, most likely ones that govern neurotransmitters in the brain. Still, the way someone is raised undoubtedly plays a role, too. Parents who bolster children’s self-esteem by avoiding criticism and praising accomplishments, however meager, can encourage in them a lifelong can-do attitude.
With the right guidance, many of the attributes of optimism also can be learned by adults, Dr. Segerstrom and other researchers have found.
Noting that it is easier to change behavior than emotions, she eschews the popular saying “Don’t worry, be happy.” Instead, she endorses a form of cognitive behavioral therapy: Act first and the right feelings will follow. As she puts it in her book, “Fake it until you make it.”
She wrote, “People can learn to be more optimistic by acting as if they were more optimistic,” which means “being more engaged with and persistent in the pursuit of goals.”
If you behave more optimistically, you will be likely to keep trying instead of giving up after an initial failure. “You might succeed more than you expected,” she wrote. Even if the additional effort is not successful, it can serve as a positive learning experience, suggesting a different way to approach a similar problem the next time.
Framing Your Thoughts
It’s important not to neglect the power of positive thinking. Both Dr. Segerstrom and the Mayo researchers recommend taking a few minutes at the end of each day to write down three positive things that happened that day, ending the day on an upbeat note.
The Mayo researchers offered these additional suggestions:
Avoid negative self-talk. Instead of focusing on prospects of failure, dwell on the positive aspects of a situation.
In college, I would approach every exam, even those I had barely studied for, with the thought that I was going to do well. Time after time, this turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Regardless of the nature of your work, identify some aspect of it that is personally fulfilling. If your job is scrubbing floors, stand back and admire how shiny and clean they look.
Surround yourself with positive, upbeat people. But be aware that if you are chronically negative and always see only the dark side of things, the optimists in your life may eventually give up on you.
Focus on situations that you can control, and forget those you can’t. I would also suggest using voting power, money or communication skills to forward a goal that is beyond your personal control.
1928 ~ 2012
Our gracious and beautiful mother, grandmother (Grams), and great-grandmother, Mary Lou Dunford Unice, peacefully passed away on September 17, 2012, with her daughter Denise Unice Gibson at her side.
She was born on September 13, 1928, in South Gate, CA, to Grover Cleveland Dunford and Hazel Irene Weaver (deceased). She was married to Dr. Charles Joseph Unice II in the Salt Lake City Temple for time and all eternity on June 14, 1949.
She is survived by her son, Charles Joseph (Cheryl) Unice III; daughter Denise (Rockne Ted) Gibson; grandchildren, Cyndi Unice Both, Chira Unice Speers, Charles Joseph Unice IV, Heather Gibson Heywood, Mandy Gibson McFarland, Hillary Gibson Crump, Marla Gibson Grover, Rocky Scott Gibson and 16 great-grandchildren.
She was preceded in death by her husband ; son, Roger Dunford Unice, in 1993; parents, Grover and Hazel Dunford; brothers, Park, Jack and Ted Dunford
Funeral services will be held Friday, September 28th, 12:00 p.m. at the Willow Creek 4th Ward, 2350 East Creek Rd. (8200 So) Sandy, Utah. A viewing will be held 10:00 - 11:30 a.m. prior to services. Interment at Redwood Memorial Estates, West Jordan, Utah.
Mary Lou faced many challenges in her life with grace and dignity. She was strong and faithful to the gospel of Jesus Christ her entire life. She had many creative talents and skills and lived life to the fullest until the very end. By far her greatest joy was her eight grandchildren and 16 great- grandchildren who she "always spoiled then sent them home." She will be lovingly remembered by all who knew her. She was a great supporter of the Huntsman Cancer Center, in lieu of flowers or gifts, the family would appreciate donations to the Huntsman Cancer Center.
Daryl made a hole-in-one at number 2 hole of Willow Creek. The ball landed on the hill to the right of the green and bounced down onto the green and rolled into the hole. This is the third hole-in-one I have seen. Greg Seal and Ray Goodson were the others.
July 14, 2012
Nashville, Tennessee, USA
Amanda de Lange, 51, born March 12, 1961 in South Africa, returned to her Heavenly Father at 10:48 a.m. CST, Saturday, July 14, 2012 in Nashville, Tennessee, USA. Amanda left this Earthly life with her favorite songs and hymns filling the air, and more than a dozen friends at her side - some who have known her from the beginning of Starfish in 2005; close friends in Nashville and loving parents of adopted Chinese children; and dear friends from her church family who have helped care for her the last few months in the United States. It was a beautiful, serene setting in which to bid our Amanda farewell. She was never alone; words of love and appreciation were showered upon her; messages from friends were shared with her; she was able to say farewell to her family by phone; friends prayed with and for her; gentle fingers caressed her head; and cool cloths, foot and hand rubs were plentiful - her signature, beautiful nails a soft pink.
Amanda was enveloped in love as she left, and we have no doubt, wrapped in the arms of Heavenly Father with an even greater love as she arrived. So fitting for a woman who selflessly shared her passion and energy nurturing vulnerable orphans, restoring them to health, and preparing them for the loving arms of their new parents and forever families.
As the Founder and Executive Director of Starfish Children's Service, operating the Starfish Foster Home in Xi'an, China, Amanda accomplished an incredible, loving feat in just seven short years. While she was in the hospital, Amanda reflected: "168 babies, nearly 250 surgeries, and 81 adoptions - that pretty much sums up my life!" There is so much humility in that one phrase - and even more impact. Eighty-one Starfishes with their forever families, and so many more ready for their turn, thanks to Amanda and the incredible Starfish team and volunteers.
Amanda also reflected, "I was blessed beyond measure to be given the opportunity to found and direct Starfish. I love that I took the opportunity when it was presented. God was good to me. My work has been a testimony of God's love for the kids."
Amanda also shared one of her favorite scriptures, Romans 8:28 from the New Testament: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." Amanda certainly loved God and showed it through her actions, and she felt called to serve China's special needs orphans. She embodied this verse in her work.
We will update the blog as the plans are finalized for the memorial service and celebration of her life so that all who desire will be able to travel to Nashville, Tennessee and share in the joy of remembering Amanda. The date for this is August 4, 2012. (One hint I can give you: per Amanda, no one is to wear black, and there will be chocolate!)
There are also plans being made for a post-memorial celebration in Salt Lake City, Utah. The tentative dates being set aside for this are Sept. 13 or 14, 2012.
This year our flowers have been more beautiful than usual. Perhaps it was the cool and wetter Spring. We've enjoyed the colors and fragrance.
