2013-02-25 Study Group

We met at our home for dinner and study with our long-time study group. We are getting older. Here's a photo taken in 2008 when the McConkies were in South Carolina. We've managed to meet more or less monthly for over 15 years. Quite an accomplishment. We are currently studying the Mortal Messiah. Over the years we've studied a number of books including the Old and New Testaments.

2013-02-17 Randy Stauffer's obituary

Donald Randel Stauffer "Randy" Randy Stauffer passed away peacefully on Sunday, February 17, 2013 after a short battle with cancer. He was born to Donald and LaRue Stauffer on August 11, 1952 in Salt Lake City, Utah. He was the oldest of five siblings. He attended Skyline High School and was an Eagle Scout. He was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He loved the New York Yankees and the Utah Jazz. Randy was a very tender and compassionate person. He was soft-spoken and loved animals - especially his dog Scottie. Randy worked as a master telephone technician. His career took him to California where he worked for a private contractor and later for the University of Utah. Along with telephone work, Randy exemplified many other talents and skills which he put to use while managing and maintaining the apartment building on "H" Street where he lived for over 20 years. Randy's greatest gift was his ability to freely serve those around him. It was common for Randy to be found shoveling snow or working in the yard of his Uncle Ray. He was a devoted son as he spent hours every week caring for his parents. His presence will be truly missed. Randy is survived by his mom and dad, Donald and LaRue Stauffer; sisters, Becki Jefferies (Bill), Julie Overfelt (Jerry); brothers, Gene Stauffer (Beverly), Steven Stauffer, and numerous nieces and nephews. Funeral services will be held Thursday, February 21, 2013 at Wasatch Lawn Mortuary (3401 Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, Utah) at 2:00 p.m., with a viewing one hour prior to services. Following the service, he will be laid to rest at Wasatch Lawn Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting that donations be made to the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Randy's honor

2013-02 Skiing

I enjoyed a day of skiing with Brian. He is getting over a cold or pneumonia (which I now have) so he didn't ski too hard or too fast for me. The next day Brian, Melanie, and Mindy skied with me at Deer Valley. Melissa and Paula joined us for lunch. It was thoughtful of Melissa to invite Paula to join, something I hadn't considered. After skiing we took Brian to the airport, but his flight was delayed and then cancelled due to fog at the SLC airport. He stayed until Sunday evening when the flights were back to normal schedules. The following Saturday Mindy and I took 6 grandchildren skiing - two of hers, one of Melissa's, and three of Melanie's. We had a great time - they are all excellent skiers.

2013-02-03 Super Bowl Sunday

I'm old enough to remember the first 'Super Bowl' played in 1967 when the Green Bay Packers of the NFL beat the Kansas City Chiefs of the AFL. The photo is courtesy of Life magazine. The Chiefs' quarterback is having a smoke at halftime. We would never see a major quarterback have a smoke today. Even President Obama hides his smoking habit. Tickets to Super Bowl 1 cost $12, and there was no halftime pageantry. We never thought the AFL teams could beat the NFL teams (until the Jets beat the Baltimore Colts two years later in Super Bowl III). Sunday we watched Super Bowl 47 when Baltimore, now the Ravens and not the Colts, beat the San Francisco 49ers. We had the benefit of a DVR so we could bleep the suggestive advertising, halftime show and 40 minutes of game delaying power failure. Tickets to Super Bowl 47 were $2,500 on average.

2013-01-26 St George with the Thelers

We enjoyed a few days in St George and we were joined by the Thelers on Friday. We watched Downton Abbey, went for a couple of short hikes, tried to teach them pinochle, watched the movie 'The Impossible' about the tsunami in Thailand in 2004, and generally enjoyed their company. We arrived home to a foot of new snow. Earlier in the week we golfed at Sand Hollow GC with the Goodsons. We found this frozen waterfall on the back nine. After golf we had dinner with the Goodsons at Kneaders. Debbie needed to get back to SLC for her mother who passed away two days later.

2013-01 Les Miserables

We enjoyed Les Mis, the movie, about as much as any movie I can remember. We were reluctant to take our grandchildren because of negative reports from Laurel Young and Cleo Cohen. We sent our grandsons to see a James Bond movie full of violence, while the rest of us saw Les Mis with Abby. It was an engaging and moving experience. While in California, Brian's neighbor had a DVD of Les Mis through his associations in the movie industry and we watched it with Brian and Natalie and then with Elsa and Ava (fast forwarding through a couple of parts). I enjoyed the movie more the second and third times I saw it. I downloaded the book to my Kindle and I'm really enjoying the book - which puts the gentle priest into a bigger role.

The Generous Marriage

This column appears in the Dec. 11 issue of The New York Times Magazine. From tribesmen to billionaire philanthropists, the social value of generosity is already well known. But new research suggests it also matters much more intimately than we imagined, even down to our most personal relationships. Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently studied the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women. Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy,” according to the latest “State of Our Unions” report from the National Marriage Project. While sexual intimacy, commitment and communication are important, the focus on generosity adds a new dimension to our understanding of marital success. Though this conclusion may seem fairly self-evident, it’s not always easy to be generous to a romantic partner. The noted marriage researcher John Gottman has found that successful couples say or do at least five positive things for each negative interaction with their partner — not an easy feat. “In marriage we are expected to do our fair share when it comes to housework, child care and being faithful, but generosity is going above and beyond the ordinary expectations with small acts of service and making an extra effort to be affectionate,” explains the University of Virginia’s W. Bradford Wilcox, who led the research. “Living that spirit of generosity in a marriage does foster a virtuous cycle that leads to both spouses on average being happier in the marriage.” Social scientists are now wondering if this virtuous cycle extends to children too. In a study of 3-year-old twins, Israeli researchers have identified a genetic predisposition toward generosity that may be further influenced by a parent’s behavior. Preliminary findings suggest that children with more-engaged parents are more likely to be generous toward others, which may bode well for their future relationships — and their parents’ too. “We see meaningful differences in parents’ behaviors,” said Ariel Knafo, the principal investigator and a psychologist at Hebrew University in Jerusalem. “In the long run we’d like to be able to see whether it’s children’s generosity that also makes parents more kind or the other way around. Probably it’s both.”